Who the actual eff are we meant to vote for on June 8?

Who the actual eff are we meant to vote for on June 8?


Seriously – who? The more we learn about the people who are hoping to lead our country, the more we struggle to come up with a sensible answer. Let’s take a look at the shortlist.

1 Train Toilet Man

First up is Jeremy Corbyn, who was recently photographed in a train toilet. Walking around holding a banana has ended the political careers of better men than Corbyn, but he’s willing to dress up like some 1930s propaganda vision of a Soviet worker and hang out in a slow-closing Pendolino bog in full view of the AP photographer.

This picture shows such poor judgment that we don’t even need to bother getting into Labour’s vicious in-fighting, or the feasibility of a National Education Service.

2 Breggsit Means Breggsit Lady

We respected Theresa May for the speech she gave when she took over as Prime Minister, recognising that people had voted for change. More alarming is when she decides she knows what the referendum result means. Unless we missed a load of small print about kicking out all the nasty immigrants, bringing back hanging and turning our passports aquamarine, the British people TICKED A BOX so don’t tell us MPs are “subverting the will of the people” if they question how you’re doing it.

3 “I’m Not Saying Whether I Think Gays Are Sinners” Man

The Liberal Democrats should have a real shot at this election, as the only party that’s consistently challenged a hard Brexit. Unfortunately, you can count the number of MPs they have right now on your fingers – a thin field that has given them a pretty religious leader who won’t deny he thinks homosexuality is a sin. (He says he’s “passionate about equality” and LGBT rights, but it’s going to be hard to look a gay friend in the eye and say “Yah I’m wearing this Lib Dem badge cos Tim Farron believes you deserve equal rights UNTIL you burn in Hell”.)

4 The Fringes

As a moderate these days you may find yourself gravitating to what used to be called the fringes. Obviously apart from UKIP, a group of people so filled with hate they can’t even get along with each other. The SNP might be a nice vote if you can get it, but they’ve never convincingly explained how they’ll pay for all the stuff they plan to give away once they break up the UK. The Green Party are starting to look smart and professional; it’s just that you suspect this is only by comparison. The Women’s Equality Party are a decent protest vote but they don’t have policies on everything. Who else? Are the Monster Raving Loonies still about? Larry the cat?


Here’s the thing: the centre ground is disappearing. If you quite like foreigners, feel sorry for poor people and have no special desire to overthrow the rich, you don’t have anyone to vote for. If you think that politicians are only human and don’t expect them magically to solve every problem, nobody is speaking to you.

Less than a century since women were given the vote in the UK, though, NOT voting is unthinkable. That’s why Votes By Women has decided to spend the next 50 days looking carefully at the options from a female point of view. This is not about the tampon tax; it’s about a space to explore political issues when political commentators are overwhelmingly male, and women who express an opinion are far more likely to be trolled for it.

We may not be experts, but in an age when everyone seems certain, there’s a value to asking questions. Starting with: what the f*** do we do now, Britain?


3 thoughts on “Who the actual eff are we meant to vote for on June 8?

  1. I will be voting for the people and policies I believe in. The Green Party are progressive and want to do everything they can to reduce the impact of a hard Brexit. They can’t do it alone and need the support of others, but I believe they will do right by the people of this country if they are handed the chance. Caroline Lucas is formidable and there are many women in the party, such as Natalie Bennett, Molly Scott Cato, Sian Berry, and Amelia Womack, who have good and proven track records. Check them out and don’t be so quick to dismiss them!


  2. It’s not that you have an overwhelming desire to other throw the rich – but rather the poor and middle class get squeezed and suffer from low pay, stagnation in terms of mobility and soaring rents, while the rich get tax cuts and build even great wealth (that just sits in their bank accounts). Homelessness has doubled since the Conservatives took power in 2010 and now around a quarter of UK children live in poverty – in one of the richest countries in the world, while women have to PROVE they have been raped, in order to achieve financial support for a third child (which is disgusting). Not to mention, that Teresa May and the Tory party are selling off and underfunding the NHS (people dying on hospital beds?). Corbyn is looking to share the wealth between all of us and to protect the most vulnerable – he’s not some super extreme alternative, he just won’t support the current status quo.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s